My daughter Sydney was born perfect. She had all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. She had a head full of hair and dark brown eyes. As she grew into her own personality she was a funny little girl with so much attitude. She had such a fun way about her. Everyone who met her, loved her, they still do! She is almost 17 now and she has a light that shines so bright. I may be biased but she's pretty special.
Until Sydney was 5 years old she had beautiful red hair, but at the age of 5 she began to get coin sized bald spots on her head. She was diagnosed with Alopecia Totalis. (This is a condition where her hair all over her body falls out, including eyelashes and eyebrows. No one really knows why, it's just one of those mysterious auto immune disorders). Within a short amount of time most of her hair had fallen out so all she had was half a bald head and half a head of thin hair. At that point she wanted to shave it all off, which we took her to a salon to do. I will never forget that day. It was bittersweet. I cried oceans of tears as I watched her remaining hair fall to the ground. But my son Jared decided to shave all of his hair off at the same time in support of his little sister. I was so proud of him! It certainly was an emotional day.
As a mom, I had so many fears for my little girl. I wasn't following Jesus at that time in my life, so I worried over many things. Would her hair ever grow back? What if it didn't? Would she be teased at school? Once she was in high school would boys be interested in her? Would she be sitting alone at school dances? Would she have low self esteem because she looked so different from other girls? Every fear you can imagine played over and over in my mind. I spent many sleepless nights worrying about her future. Of course, I never showed any of those emotions in front of her. I just told her how beautiful she was and tried my best to encourage her to be herself regardless of what people thought. It was a very difficult time for my whole family.
I am so grateful that Sydney had the attitude that she had. She very rarely paid attention to those who seemed to be bothered by her baldness. As a matter of fact, even though she has many wigs, she has chosen not to wear them. She did wear her first wig to school in Kindergarten for one day but when she got home she flung it on the stairs and said "I just want to be ME mom", and she never wore it again. I had to laugh at her spunk! I always tried to encourage her to make choices for herself along the way, like whether or not she wanted to wear a wig or a head covering of some sort.
Two years ago, Sydney was asked to be part of a photo shoot/fashion show for alopecia awareness month, which is in September. We drove into the city for the photo shoot, not really knowing what to expect. It ended up being one of the most amazing days of my life, and I am sure it was for her too. As I sat back and watched Sydney interact with other women who suffer with this same disorder, I noticed how others were drawn to her. She sat with the younger girls who are new to this journey and talked with them, encouraging them to be themselves too. She was more confident than I had ever seen her. She was radiant. I was on the verge of joyful tears all day. When I got into bed that night I was so wired, and so grateful to God. I began giving thanks to him and the only thing that kept coming to my mind was the saying "Beauty From Ashes". I had been so incredibly worried about my daughter's future but there was no need for that worry. Sydney is an inspiring young woman. She is strong. She is compassionate. She is joyful. She is full of light. She is brave. She is absolutely beautiful in every way. She is going to inspire many with her story someday. She has been so brave and positive in the face of this challenge. She has made me a stronger woman, watching her handle this over the years with such grace.
God brought so much beauty from those ashes. I am not sure who Sydney would be today if she had never lost her hair. I am sure she would still be the fun loving girl she is today, but perhaps she wouldn't have the same strength that she possesses now. I can't know that for sure of course. I do know that we go through struggles for a reason, and more often than not, that is where our strength comes from.
Sydney is now in grade 11. She loves to dance and spends a fair amount of time at the dance studio. She acts in her school musicals and drama productions, and comes alive on stage. She is on the leadership team at school. She has been on two mission trips with our church youth group. She has a way of calming down tense situations. She welcomes our foster children into our home with excitement and open arms. She is always there for her friends when they need a listening ear. She encourages others who are struggling, myself included. She is turning into an exceptional young woman and I can't wait to see how God is going to use her further. I have no doubt that he has a special role designed just for her. I am so proud of her and I am so incredibly grateful to God for guiding us every step of the way.
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